I figured it out

"I figured out yesterday what I'm missing here at college, and some of what is prolly causing me to be so depressed and on edge all the time.

I'm not getting touched.

I don't particularly need sex (see {1} below), I can get conversation over the 'net or on the phone. But I haven't physically touched another human being in any real way since Sunday. I really hate that. I don't deal well with not having physical contact fairly often. Snuggles, scritches, hugs, etc. I live on this stuff. And getting to curl up in bed with someone is wonderful too. But there is noone on campus I can get any of that from.

There all all sorts of ways to propsition anyone from your best friend to a complete stranger for sex. There is no socially existent way to proposition somone for snuggles. In fact in normal society (which I am currently stuck in) the concept of snuggles don't seem to exist. Nobody touches anybody, friends don't hug, couples seem to hug then stay just a bit apart (or risk comments of 'get a room!'). It's really strange.
It doesn't help that I'm living on a jock rap-listening floor. Lots of macho bullshit, and all the music everyone blasts seems to think the only way ppl of opposite sex can interact is through sex.
*sigh* Well mom's giving me a lift back to her place later today, and tomorrow going be doing work around her house and at the Nexus, and getting together with [C] that night. So at least I'll get some snuggles and physical contact in."

{1} Part of it is that most of the time I don't derrive any physical pleasure from sex (more on that in this post). The other part is that if all I wanted was sex all I would have to do is put aside my morals and/or standards and I would prolly have little trouble getting sex. It would almost certainly be sex with ppl I shouldn't sleep with, be even more unenjoyable and prolly fuck with my head, but it would be sex. This is why I don't do that.