Double power double hour
Oct. 22nd, 2025 10:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Some things I managed to do this afternoon and evening:
Small breakdown after school. Missed a bunch of the all-district department meeting. I am _assured_ by my work bestie that I missed absolutely nothing, which is at least a little reassuring.
(It's been a hard couple weeks at work. I would like it if I felt that my bosses were on my team and trying to support me and mine. I would settle if they were at least able to proactively say "I recognize how hard this latest bullshit is to deal with, and appreciate that you're doing so")
Talked to work bestie for an hour. That was nice. Good discussion of art, of dreams, of movie-making of the value of the act of doing things as different from the value of those things existing later. Clayton is really fucking smart and I'm very happy to be friends with him and get to consume his perspective on things.
When he went off to make copies, I managed to persuade my brain that things would be better if I just did a bare-minimum todo list and fucked off home. Managed to leave the building by like 5:45, which is pretty damn good for "didn't start prep until after 5". Meant I biked home before the sun went down which was good.
Got home and had a Power Hour. Ate dinner. Had a more different second power hour. Forest successfully gamified me by being all "~ooo~ look at the special tree that you can only earn if you do 300 minutes of focused time between now and like five days from now" and having it actually be a very pretty tree. So I'm gonna try for that, which means lots of Power Hours in the next few days. That is...that is not a bad thing.
Some stuff I managed during POWER HOURS:
*Desk is cleaned off, like fully, which I think has not been true since like...well? before my surgery? I could actually _use the computer at my desk_ which is astonishing. We'll see how long it lasts.
*Unpacked from MD trip, got all the laundry downstairs, third load is in the washer now, first load is put away *and* it was the one that had the most hangy-laundry, jegus fuck, I'm proud of myself for that.
*Dishfairy. Nothing special there.
*Went out to the garage and learned I don't seem to own a protractor, which, uh, is throwing a wrench into at least one project I should be working on right now. That's fine, I'll swipe one from work, but also what the fuck.
*Also found a thing in the garage and did a thing in my room and am feeling quite a lot of feelings about it, so we're not gonna talk about that one more until I actually decide what to do with them. Practice being bad at things, probably. Engage with the act of doing things for the sake of the act rather than the sake of the things. All of that is fine, but I wish it didn't come with a side of a very particular insecurity/inadequacy that I fully recognize and I *think* is the same thing that made me write the shittiest LJ post I ever wrote on purpose (like sixteen years ago, apparently. It's less bad than it could be but also jegus _fuck_ Sor, you were goin' through it weren't you?)
It is very funny how "not gonna talk about that one" actually manifests, isn't it? ANYways, I think this might be the first time I've ever specifically tagged _exactly that feeling_ as _oh it goes with those moments_.
*Also I apparently have three separate versions of Vienna Teng's "The Tower", one of which I'd never listened to before (to be fair, it's from her live concert album Moment Always Vanishing, and I only quite recently obtained that one). The 2001 version showed up in shuffle and I said "yeah, that seems good to listen to" and _really_ liked some of the differences in musicality. And then I did the live Vienna/Alex Wong version and _holy shit_.
I got not quite halfway through before Gabriel _grabbed_ me and pushed me onto the dance floor. There are advantages to actually cleaning my room, having space to dance is one of the biggest. He and I danced to that one, and then I wrapped with the regular version and let Alis take her turn with me. It was really fucking good for me. Dancing is _really_ fucking good for me.
It's a good reminder that sometimes we can be our own love with intuition.
Hopefully tomorrow will also be good? That would be nice.
~Sor
MOOP!
Small breakdown after school. Missed a bunch of the all-district department meeting. I am _assured_ by my work bestie that I missed absolutely nothing, which is at least a little reassuring.
(It's been a hard couple weeks at work. I would like it if I felt that my bosses were on my team and trying to support me and mine. I would settle if they were at least able to proactively say "I recognize how hard this latest bullshit is to deal with, and appreciate that you're doing so")
Talked to work bestie for an hour. That was nice. Good discussion of art, of dreams, of movie-making of the value of the act of doing things as different from the value of those things existing later. Clayton is really fucking smart and I'm very happy to be friends with him and get to consume his perspective on things.
When he went off to make copies, I managed to persuade my brain that things would be better if I just did a bare-minimum todo list and fucked off home. Managed to leave the building by like 5:45, which is pretty damn good for "didn't start prep until after 5". Meant I biked home before the sun went down which was good.
Got home and had a Power Hour. Ate dinner. Had a more different second power hour. Forest successfully gamified me by being all "~ooo~ look at the special tree that you can only earn if you do 300 minutes of focused time between now and like five days from now" and having it actually be a very pretty tree. So I'm gonna try for that, which means lots of Power Hours in the next few days. That is...that is not a bad thing.
Some stuff I managed during POWER HOURS:
*Desk is cleaned off, like fully, which I think has not been true since like...well? before my surgery? I could actually _use the computer at my desk_ which is astonishing. We'll see how long it lasts.
*Unpacked from MD trip, got all the laundry downstairs, third load is in the washer now, first load is put away *and* it was the one that had the most hangy-laundry, jegus fuck, I'm proud of myself for that.
*Dishfairy. Nothing special there.
*Went out to the garage and learned I don't seem to own a protractor, which, uh, is throwing a wrench into at least one project I should be working on right now. That's fine, I'll swipe one from work, but also what the fuck.
*Also found a thing in the garage and did a thing in my room and am feeling quite a lot of feelings about it, so we're not gonna talk about that one more until I actually decide what to do with them. Practice being bad at things, probably. Engage with the act of doing things for the sake of the act rather than the sake of the things. All of that is fine, but I wish it didn't come with a side of a very particular insecurity/inadequacy that I fully recognize and I *think* is the same thing that made me write the shittiest LJ post I ever wrote on purpose (like sixteen years ago, apparently. It's less bad than it could be but also jegus _fuck_ Sor, you were goin' through it weren't you?)
It is very funny how "not gonna talk about that one" actually manifests, isn't it? ANYways, I think this might be the first time I've ever specifically tagged _exactly that feeling_ as _oh it goes with those moments_.
*Also I apparently have three separate versions of Vienna Teng's "The Tower", one of which I'd never listened to before (to be fair, it's from her live concert album Moment Always Vanishing, and I only quite recently obtained that one). The 2001 version showed up in shuffle and I said "yeah, that seems good to listen to" and _really_ liked some of the differences in musicality. And then I did the live Vienna/Alex Wong version and _holy shit_.
I got not quite halfway through before Gabriel _grabbed_ me and pushed me onto the dance floor. There are advantages to actually cleaning my room, having space to dance is one of the biggest. He and I danced to that one, and then I wrapped with the regular version and let Alis take her turn with me. It was really fucking good for me. Dancing is _really_ fucking good for me.
It's a good reminder that sometimes we can be our own love with intuition.
Hopefully tomorrow will also be good? That would be nice.
~Sor
MOOP!