This is why people worry about us...

  "So Velvet came by today, and as he was leaving we got to talking in the driveway. And as conversations with him and I tend to, this one wandered across a wide range of topics. I eventually ended up at the story of how my mom's husband had many years back delt with a pig and a hurricane.
  (short version of story) Seems that shortly before hurricane Gloria hit he had bought a killed, cleaned and dressed pig and put it in his freezer chest. When the hurricane hit his power was knocked out and he ended up having to drive the freezer with the pig in it to a friends house and leave his truck w/ freezer in it in their driveway and plugged into their power until his own was restored.
  After I told this story velvet commented that he'd sort of expected somthing weirder, the conversation quickly degenerated from there...
Velvet: After all what's the point of getting a pig cleaned and dressed if you aren't going to take it out.
Me: Yeah, you get a pig dressed up nice you can take her somewhere fun.
Velvet:  You wouldn't even have to tell it to squeal like a pig. It'd be more like 'Squeal like a... well... just squeal...'
Me: I  imagine just trying to dress a pig up would cause it to start squealing.
Velvet: Ok, We'v gone to far. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to take this one step further... You could tell the pig 'Squeal like a man being raped in Deliverance!'

  We are sick twisted people. I think it's why we get along so well."