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Nov. 10th, 2005
on drinking.
Nov. 10th, 2005 08:57 pm *sigh* "And this folxs, is why I never started drinking.
Why? Because this is the times when I want to. When I'm lonely, and kinda bored and unhappy with my life at the moment, and when I'm sore and tired.
At least I have managed to be smart enough to know this would be an incredibly bad time to drink. So I don't.
But it doesn't leave me feeling any better.
And because I don't drink (so I have no experience of what it is like), and because I have issues about being not in full control of myself, it also makes me uncomfortable around other ppl who are drinking. I get edgy and nervous because I feel like I can't entirely depend on their actions/reactions/etc . to be rational or predictable.
Except that apparently this comes off as me being judgemental of people who are drinking, and of drinking in general. Which isn't really the case, I have no issues with other people drinking. But I don't always know how to deal with it when its happening around me.
And the other part of this whole thing that darkly amuses me, the fact I don't drink just adds to my overall feeling of disconnection with the world. Drinking, alocohol, etc. is such a pervasive part of our culture, and how ppl interact that I always feel a little apart and distant when it comes up. When I was younger it was a point of pride for me that I don't drink, now I feel almost apologetic about it when it comes up.
*shrug* There was no real point to all of this, I was just bored, and lonely and depressed and started rambling. Sorry to waste your time."
Why? Because this is the times when I want to. When I'm lonely, and kinda bored and unhappy with my life at the moment, and when I'm sore and tired.
At least I have managed to be smart enough to know this would be an incredibly bad time to drink. So I don't.
But it doesn't leave me feeling any better.
And because I don't drink (so I have no experience of what it is like), and because I have issues about being not in full control of myself, it also makes me uncomfortable around other ppl who are drinking. I get edgy and nervous because I feel like I can't entirely depend on their actions/reactions/etc . to be rational or predictable.
Except that apparently this comes off as me being judgemental of people who are drinking, and of drinking in general. Which isn't really the case, I have no issues with other people drinking. But I don't always know how to deal with it when its happening around me.
And the other part of this whole thing that darkly amuses me, the fact I don't drink just adds to my overall feeling of disconnection with the world. Drinking, alocohol, etc. is such a pervasive part of our culture, and how ppl interact that I always feel a little apart and distant when it comes up. When I was younger it was a point of pride for me that I don't drink, now I feel almost apologetic about it when it comes up.
*shrug* There was no real point to all of this, I was just bored, and lonely and depressed and started rambling. Sorry to waste your time."