Self destructive

"Well I'm doing it again. I'm fucking up my life. I really wish I could figure out why I'm so self destructive, I've been this way for as long as I can recall, but I can't seem to get myself to stop it.
I think I fucked up a friendship big time. Based on a few disjointed statements taken only somewhat in context, and a lot of assumptions on my part, and the fact that my mind when depressed and containing one or two bad things can spin a tale that goes way beyond rational, I have managed to acuse someone of something I had no right to. Not only that but I managed to do it in the worst way possible.
Hopefully I won't ruin this friendship, and hopefully I'll grow out of this someday."