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"You know you've been being an ass when you have to write apologies to two different ppl for your actions in the course of three days.
Apparently when I get really depressed about not getting physical contact I get really desperate for said contact. And when something happens that I perceive as someone actively ruining a chance for it I get really angry and pissy. This is a really stupid way to react, 1) just because it makes me a jerk and 2) because it pushes ppl away.
*sigh* I'm supposed to go to a party at the EN tomorrow, but I'm vaguely dreading it. I'm now thinking that I'm likely to end up being an ass again and making yet a third person unhappy, and perhaps I should just stay home so the only miserable person will be me. After all, I'm already miserable, it wouldn't be a real change."
Added 11:29
"I've also been playng to martyr lately, to a stupid degree. I spent all of today getting steadily more annoyed at someone and building up a good head of resentment towards them. I also missed out on a chance to go see LOTR:TT with another group of friends. Why? Because I was beingthe tragic martyr and waiting for them to call me and proving to myself how they didn't care by their lack of phone call. If I had made one or two calls to them, I could have gotten things cleared up right off, and gotten to see the movie and possibly even been able to get teh person I got angry with to come along.
This folx, this is being stupid defined."
Apparently when I get really depressed about not getting physical contact I get really desperate for said contact. And when something happens that I perceive as someone actively ruining a chance for it I get really angry and pissy. This is a really stupid way to react, 1) just because it makes me a jerk and 2) because it pushes ppl away.
*sigh* I'm supposed to go to a party at the EN tomorrow, but I'm vaguely dreading it. I'm now thinking that I'm likely to end up being an ass again and making yet a third person unhappy, and perhaps I should just stay home so the only miserable person will be me. After all, I'm already miserable, it wouldn't be a real change."
Added 11:29
"I've also been playng to martyr lately, to a stupid degree. I spent all of today getting steadily more annoyed at someone and building up a good head of resentment towards them. I also missed out on a chance to go see LOTR:TT with another group of friends. Why? Because I was beingthe tragic martyr and waiting for them to call me and proving to myself how they didn't care by their lack of phone call. If I had made one or two calls to them, I could have gotten things cleared up right off, and gotten to see the movie and possibly even been able to get teh person I got angry with to come along.
This folx, this is being stupid defined."
