On finding a place to live.

"So now that I am done with my insane artcar month, I get to concentrate on my new task. Finding a place to live.
Mom has told me I am welcome to move into their new place, but I'd rather not as them integrating two households will be complicated enough without me in the picture. Plus I would much rather avoid goign t from a house with two ppl in it and almost total privacy to one with six and therefore almost none.
So I'm apartment hunting, except that even with my mom offering to help out I'm not sure what I will be able to afford. Apartments are damn expensive and I am making much less at my new job (but seem to have much more expenses & bills, annoying). So I have to find something I can afford.
Right now my only real requirements are

• 1) proximity to major highway. I travel a lot for work and don't want to have to travel 10min just to get to the highway.
  
• 2) off street parking. I lived somewhere once that The Cat had to live on the street and is sucked, plus I woiuld be afraid of her getting run into.
  
• 3) either first floor apartment or elevator. I have a bunch of heavy tools for work, and I'm not shlepping them up to a third story walkup.
  

I kep dreaming about finding a small house to buy, but that now seems fiscally inpossible. Also I would love to go in with some friends and buy some sort of industrial building to convert into apartments. There was much talk about the Artcar Warehouse Heaven not much back, but now that the other person with whom I came up with the idea is moving away within the year I have lost most of my interest in that idea. It just doesn't seem like it would be the same if she wasn't a part of it.

Feh, so now I Have to apartment hunt, which is rarely fun and often stressful. Maybe I'll get lucky and find somethign amazing like the place I had in Providence (yeah, and and while I'm dreaming I'd like a million dollars too).

At least I have til the end of August to find something, so I don't have to rush around like a madman."

Sigh

"The 'things to do' pile grows, the money owed increases, the instability in my life rises, the feeling of connection to things and places wane, my ability to make time for myself and for others shrinks.

I continue to feel that I am closing in on myself.

Soon there will be nothing left on the outside for anyone to grasp onto, or to interact with. Just a perfectly smooth sphere with me locked inside it, doomed to only replaying to memories in my mind forever with never a new one added."

(this message brought to you by a surge of depression, lack of adequate food sleep or social interaction, extra stress, and the letter Q)